Movie Review: Poltergeist (2015)

I went to see Poltergeist thinking it was a horror movie; I was sorely disappointed.  Even compared to the latest Insidious (the third part), which set a pretty low bar as far as American scare-fests go, Poltergeist was even less scary.  Sure, there were some jump-from-your-seat moments, often involving loud noises and hands over children's shoulders.  There were some semi-disturbing imageries but the inclusion of numerous CG effects really detracted from the visceral aspects of more practical-oriented (read as: cheap) effects (think the first Insidious, or the first Paranormal Activity).

However, if you think of Poltergeist as a suburban Sci-Fi / Light-horror genre mashup, it becomes a bit more palatable.

I never really like it when horror films over-explain themselves; sometimes the scariest things are things implied by the filmmakers, as opposed to something spoon-fed.  This is why Japanese or Asian horror in general works for me: they don't give a too-too elaborate backstory, scary shit just happens, deal with it!  I remember having to shower with my eyes open for months on end or not looking at my monitor's reflection (back in the days of CRT monitors) because I might see something that I did not want to see, or feel a hand helping me shampoo my hair.  I fed my own scares, and it left me scarred and scared years down the line.

Poltergeist spoon feeds you: everything has an explanation; everything happens for a reason; everything has a step-by-step guide towards solving the issue at hand.  This attitude is very American in my view, as opposed to the usual Asian attitude of "lets just get the fuck out of here".

I've never seen the original Poltergeist in its entirety; I seem to associate it with a scene where, after chewing a drumstick, this guy tasted something wrong with his midnight snack and ended up looking down towards his maggot encrusted piece of chicken.  This scared me enough to keep me away from breaded chicken drumsticks for a few years (hey, I was a kid then).  I remember the TV part and some kids and something something something happened and, well, let me just say that I'm not sure how much this 'reboot' stuck to the original in terms of story.  But I do believe that the original Poltergeist was also a a Sci-Fi / horror mashup, since they seem to stick with the idea that ghosts or entities have physically explainable (and even repeatable) manifestations.

Even with the sci-fi angle, I find it hard to recommend spending 250 pesos of your money and watching it in a moviehouse -- it's just not worth it.  As a rental though, it might be good enough, or maybe via iFlix, should they decide to carry it.

Verdict: 1/5 Don't bother.

Details:
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1029360/
Notable Actors: That guy from Moon
Release date: June 24, 2015
Seen at: Eastwood Cinemawalk

Anime Review: Zankyou no Terror (Terror in Resonance)

It took me a while to finish watching Zankyou no Terror (Terror in Resonance); there was always something more flashy and seemingly more fun to watch and it remained in my queue for quite a long time.  Having determined to finish my backlog before tackling newer titles, I forced myself to re-start this series once more.

ZnT tackles the theme of terrorism at its core; while Japan is hardly a place you think of when it comes to terrorist attacks, it is hardly a stranger to such events.  Of course, in the traditional anime way, you get kids involved, though this also has precedence in real life.

As the series progresses, the unique premise gets diluted by your typical anime tropes: boy geniuses, grudges from the past, high school kids save the world.  This isn't really as bad as it sounds, but I can't help but feel that the series went a bit downhill from the rather promising start.

Still, I love the art and the animation was top notch.  The pacing was good and the thriller aspect of the story kept me watching (even after I'm done with my elliptical session).  Interpersonal drama and a few lighter moments kept things from getting too dark and dreary, and the ending was satisfactory.

All in all, this series is worth your time.  It's not bad, in fact, it's above average.  I just can't help but feel that this series would've been so much more if it dared to risk more during the latter stages.

Verdict:
3.5/5 - Well worth your time

Details:
Title: Zankyou no Terror (Terror in Resonance)
Genre: Realistic, Action Thriller, High School
Date Aired: July to September, 2014

Number of Episodes: 11

Food Review: Family Mart Agedashi Tofu Meal

Thank God I was able to take pics of this delightful meal; the guard told me (while in the process of taking pics to be uploaded to Fitbit) that I was not allowed to take pics of their food.  I didn't argue, but I'm guessing that he seems to be under the misapprehension that taking pics inside the store is the same as taking pics of the store.

In any case, having just devoured my meal (I was taking pics of the other meal in the ref), I was in a good mood and didn't argue the finer points of Family Mart policy (besides, I'm not sure if anyone ever won an argument with a security guard, short of one person or the other getting beaten up with an ugly stick).  Thankfully, I took pics before I finished my Agedashi Tofu Meal and, as you can see above, it looks pretty edible.

Serving Size
Now, my main reason for choosing this meal is two-fold: 1, it costs a reasonable amount of calories (424), 2, it had the most amount of proteins (18 grams).  My other choice was the Hainanese Chicken, and it was literally a few slivers of chicken with brownish rice; the tofu meal was significantly substantial in comparison.  The rice portion was a bit on the lean side though, probably in an attempt to keep the calorie count a bit lower.

Taste

The Agedashi Tofu tasted pretty good, and relatively faithful to the ones you encounter in Japanese Restaurants.  It came with meat (pork, I assume) and some spring onions.  It had mushrooms as well, which I managed to enjoy.  The rice was fragrant and is of higher quality compared to the over-the-counter ones you can buy.  Given the proportions of tofu VS rice, you could probably order another ball of rice and still have enough tofu to go with it.

One tip though, if you're bothered by cold spots in the middle of your tofu due to the uneven heating, you might want to ask the staff to heat the meal a bit longer.

Conclusion

At 150 pesos per tray, it's beyond my normal budget for daily meals.  However, given the taste and generous serving, I think this is just about worth your money.  There are a number of other options in this Fresh n' Lite series but they're all equally expensive.  The addition of nutritional information is a big plus (and selling point), but ultimately, this product will sell due to the taste and general health-iness, especially compared to other offerings.

I've seen a number of 'premium' meals in 7-11, and I'm hoping to try them out soon.  As it is, the Agedashi Tofu Meal will be part of my go-to meal rotation.

Verdict: 4/5 Expensive, but worth it!

Movie Review: Your Place or Mine

Your Place or Mine watches like an anime series localised for our consumption.  To be specific, it's a reverse-harem, where the protagonist seems to be surrounded by good-looking guys all out to woo her affection.  I like harem animes, and I have been wondering what it would be like to have the genders reversed.  I got my wish and I'm not too sure how well i like it.

But first off, let me get this off my chest: What is the deal with Bret Jackson's colouration?  I know it's not a good idea to judge a person by the colour of their skin, but his tanning-bed skin tone is really, really distracting.  It doesn't help that his features are quite caucasian, and his eye and hair colour makes him look more brown than is rightly normal.  Everybody else looked pretty much okay so either the camera hates him or he really should stay away from the tanning salon.

Ehem.  With that out of the way, let us proceed!

This is a story of a rich girl (Haley Saavedra, played by Andi Eigenmann) who, like every other rich girl in Viva-verse, is determined to spend her youth drinking and screwing around while pretending to be studying in some video-genic university.  She meets and falls into bed (while thoroughly inubriated) with rich boy (Russell Sandoval, played by tanning-bed dude Bret Jackson) who seems to think the world is his oyster (and will throw a punch or two at the first sign of opposition, too much time spent watching pro-wrestling, my friend).

You get a controlling mother who seems determined to make her daughter unhappy (Jackie Lou Blanco) by setting her up in an arranged marriage, who, despite a few plot twists still seems to make decisions based on how much grief she'll cause her daughter.  Whose idea of motherhood is telling Haley that she cannot teach her how to cook because, asking her daughter rhetorically, "does she look like the type who knows how to cook".

Yaya to the rescue.

After an hour of watching these selfish and self-centered characters run around causing themselves unnecessary grief, I was left so devoid of sympathy that even the arrival of Teddy Bear Jr. Andre Paras as your typical anime childhood friend (with all the plus points that entails) still failed to elicit any sort of the expected sympathetic response from me.

So to cap this off, I'll just write down a few more of my observations:

• Haley likes walking out and/or running so she'll get chased.  She walks out on her boyfriend, she walks out of meetings (repeatedly), out of bed, etc.  She did this like five or six times
• So much product placement.  The movie went through as many food outlets, complete with external shots, as the number of times Haley walked on out people
• Almost every character here is a selfish prick.  Family members moreso.  With brothers like those, who needs a better set of villains
• What's the deal with that lecturing lawyer or doctor or shrink, extolling the virtues of a pragmatic marriage?
• Haley seem so determined to make herself unhappy!

Ultimately, even by anime standards, the plot is overly contrived, made worse by the fact that the characters elicit so little sympathy, you would've cheered them on in their misery.  I think I am not the target audience for the story or the movie, but I did not set out to spend 190 pesos just to hate the thing I'm watching. Try harder please, Viva.  And Russell, stop supporting the tanning lotion industry, you could actually act decently and might have a future in the industry and I'll probably have to watch a few more of your movies, just hopefully with a more normal skin tone.

Verdict: 1.5/5  Skip it.

TL;DR:
+ Production values seem to be decent, though outdoor locations seems to all be within Quezon City
+ Bret Jackson shows promise
- Contrived plot
- Poor pacing
- Some gaps within the story (how did Haley and Seth become chums all of a sudden)
---- The characters, ugh!

Details:
Title: Your Place or Mine
Genre: Reverse-harem Teen Drama, Wattpad
Release Date: April 29, 2015
Notable Actors: Andi Eigenmann, Andre Paras, Jackie Lou Blanco

Anime Review: Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend/Heroine

Here's another surprise series that took my heart and flew away with it (in no less than 12 episodes + 1 fanservice ep).  Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend (Saekano in short), is a harem anime series of the meta sort, requiring a bit of level up before being able to really get into the series.

As it is, I feel like I'm missing 20% of the in-jokes mentioned, and there seem to be a lot of things lost in translation (culturally specific stuff).  But despite that, the only thing I can say about this series is that IT IS TOO DAMN SHORT.

Personally, I do feel that this series is a cross between  Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai (or Haganai) and The World God Only Knows.  Both are harem type animes, and both are well worth your time watching.  In Saekano, you get the generic high school protagonist who is the love interest of just about every interesting girl out there, who joins/forms a club/blog that eventually helps the group/circle develop their relationship/infatuation with the main guy.

The anime is quite self-aware, often mocking it's own use of over-used tropes, breaking the fourth wall (well, maybe 3.5) several times.  I liked these breaks, and the story, simple as it is, moves along as the main focus is always about character interaction and development.

The first half of the series is pretty devoid of fanservice (upskirts, pantyshots, strategically placed/misplaced camera angles), but the latter third is rife with it.  The 13th episode (or episode 00) is pretty much a fanservice episode and, while I'm not complaining, I'd like to consider myself (slightly) above such antics (right).

The art and animation is top notch, reminding me of the Monogatari series with its use of different coloured lines, but without the overly stylised (and distracting) stuffing, though they did have their share of head-tilts.

If you like harem anime, bump this up your queue (if you haven't seen the series yet, that is, it's in a lot of must watch lists, near the top 5 usually).  I've half a mind to rewatch it since it is really too short.

Verdict: 5/5 Must Watch Immediately!

Details:
Title: Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend/Heroine
Genre: Harem Anime, Slice of Life
Date Aired: January 8, 2015 – March 26, 2015
Number of Episodes: 13

Anime Review: Yowamushi Pedal / Ping Pong the Animation

I've never been a big fan of sports anime; the excessively dragging pace seen in some of the more popular ones (Slam Dunk, for example) made watching some of the portions a chore.  I've recently watched two sports anime series whose approach to storytelling are quite polar opposites of each other.

Yowamushi Pedal, all 62 episodes of it, is done in the traditional 'long form' sports anime format, where you see minutes of actual events stretch into several episodes worth of screen time.  The art is conventional anime Shōnen (anime aimed for kids), with gorgeously rendered, cel-shaded bicycles (which is what this sports anime is all about) which blend seamlessly with some of the more traditionally drawn anime parts.

Ping Pong the Animation is a whole different beast: it is only 11 episodes long, with art that is a jarring mix of real world 'rotoscoped' art and strangely drawn animation reminiscent of some of the in-between animation shown in those old MTV animation sections.  The art and animation works and works better the more you get into the series. The story is short and succinct, with editing and excellent pacing working hand in hand in getting the story across in just 11 episodes.

Both anime succeeded in getting their story across, despite differing so much in their approach.  They hooked me in with their respective sports of choice, and despite having the barest knowledge and enthusiasm for either cycling or ping-pong, I felt like getting on a bicycle and playing ping pong while riding.

Yowamushi Pedal is a master of stretching out the moment, of building tension and releasing.  You get to know each and every character, whether hero or baddie, see and understand their motivations, and even go as far as rooting for the villain, for they are, all of them, on the same path towards excelling not just against the competition, but against their innermost fears and shortcomings.

Read that last statement as mere stuff, but in the end, Yowamushi is one damn good series and despite watching all 62 episodes, it left me wanting more.

Ping Pong the Animation, despite being only 11 episodes long, covers the same journey as Yowamushi Pedal -- it tells the tale of two friends and their road towards the Inter-High, or the Japanese version of the National competition between high school students.  The pacing here was not rushed, despite the small number of episodes.  Storytelling was cleverly done with flashbacks and fast forwards used unobtrusively, and you never feel confused with what's going on.  Though the art can take quite some getting used to -- it's almost like Van Gogh being animated into playing Ping Pong.

Lastly, the opening and ending music for both series are also quite good, it's like cherry on top of an already excellent sundae.

Verdict:

Both series are worth watching, even if you do not fancy sports anime as a sub-genre.  I rate them both 5/5

Details:
Series: Yowamushi Pedal
Genre: Sports Anime, Shonen
Date Shown: October 7, 2013 – July 1, 2014 (1st Season), October 6, 2014 – March 30, 2015 (Grande Road)
Number of Episodes: 38+24

Series: Ping Pong the Animation
Genre: Sports Anime, Seinen
Date Shown: April 11, 2014 – June 20, 2014
Number of Episodes: 11

Movie Review: You're My Boss

I literally found out about this movie last night, before then, I had no inkling that there was yet another entry to the (much abused) Boss Romance sub-Genre.  While I wouldn't call You're My Boss a terrible movie, this paint-by-the-numbers flick is just as generic and as unimaginative as its title.

So what is there to tell?  There's an over-compensatingly strong female boss (Toni Gonzaga) and an unsophisticated yet charming boy-next-door type (Coco Martin) who is full of heart.  Things happen and they end up swapping roles, falling for each other in the process.  The girl has emotional baggage aplenty and the guy... has his charming smile and... more charming smiles.  I really do think Coco Martin's idea of acting is just to smile his way through everything -- Happy? Smile! Pissed off? Evil smile!  In pain? Grimacing Smile!

I never really liked Toni Gonzaga, but I have to admit that she's come a long way from when I first saw her act.  While she's not the prettiest actress out there, she has presence and that certain sense of...star power!  Unlike her previous attempts, she doesn't come out as over-acting in any of her scenes; though her outfits and her heels (as noted by the girlfriend) and her bags (as noted by the both of us) can be quite..scene stealing.

Coco Martin... well... I've never been a fan and his performance here only reaffirms my belief that Mr. Martin seems to believe that he can smile his way through anything. Oh, he strips several times too, if that's your thing, then this might be your reason to spend your money on this movie.

As for chemistry.... dead as last night's burger.  I don't know, Toni and Coco are both charming left to themselves, but together... it really leaves much to be desired.  The movie bulldozes its way through several scenes, trying to establish the lead actor's reasons for being attracted to each other.  Taken on its own, they do have background and baggage enough to have a foundation for liking and loving one another but I just don't... feel the feels! 

Actually, after washing the dishes, I was thinking what is it about the movie that makes it a disappointment for me, it's not the individual effort displayed by the leads, and the production value is there, for most parts.  Technically, there are some flaws (particularly the dubbing on Freddie Webb's lines, I'm not sure if that's really his voice or whether they used someone else as a stand in, perhaps Mr. Voice-over).

Plot and story-wise, it was pretty okay, a stretch, but definitely within the realm of possibility (and office romance is an ever present occupational hazard for most-all of us).  The characters, from their respective starting points and towards the end of the movie, evolved because of their experiences, so no complaints there either.

Perhaps it's just the sheer predictability, the safer-course take-no-risk attitude that rendered a potentially new take in this tired sub-genre, that disappointed me.  It's like the studio though, hey, why not put an in-demand actor with an in-demand actress and see how it goes, either way, the fandom of both popular actors will probably recoup the cost to justify the effort.

So, in conclusion, and as proof that there's a connection between Toni Gonzaga and Dune (take that +Eugene Lozada ) let me paraphrase a quotation found in that body of work: a clear and safe choice ever leads towards stagnation

Verdict: 2.5/5 Watch it if the cinemas showing Furious 7 is full.

TL;DR:
+ Toni Gonzaga performed admirably well here
+/- Coco Martin's 'acting' vs his natural charm
-- Unimaginative plot, even less inspired execution
+ A few funny situations, emphasis on 'a few'

- Not much by way of risk or innovation
+ Batanes is quite charming, though not as photogenic as Pinatubo in Crazy Beautiful You

Details:
Genre: Boss Romance, "Comedy"
Release Date: April 4, 2015
Running Time: Longer than it felt
Notable Stars: Coco Martin, Toni Gonzaga
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4489160/