Movie Review: The Breakup Playlist

The Breakup Playlist is a pretty informative movie, imparting a number of lessons about life, love and career that we can learn from.  First lesson: the music industry sucks; unless you're in it for the love of what you're doing, not only will you fade into obscurity, singing commercial jingles and singing in smoke-filled, half-empty bars until the wee hours of the night, you'd also remain poor.  That is, until luck, nostalgia or music camp lifts you up from poverty and hopefully allow you to live the next few years of your life in relative comfort.  Very realistic (and depressing) depiction, that.

Next: it shows us a Sarah Geronimo that is neither stuck in her tweens, nor is she acting like a pop-princess acting like an actress in her next tweetums role.  She's all grown up now and her maturity (and every improving looks) is a joy to watch.

The movie also tells shows us a Piolo Pascual who can act like a manly rock star, complete with singing chops; he's actually more believable than Ewan MacGregor in Moulin Rouge in that Piolo's voice does not seem to be altered or improved upon with digital effects magic.

And, as a straight man, I'd have to admit Piolo is quite the eye-candy, even without having to take his shirt off at all (well, maybe just once, but it wasn't fan service).

Last, but not the least, The Breakup Playlist shows us that even though the movie has its sad parts (it is about a breakup after all), the combination of catchy Pinoy pop tunes and an onscreen relationship that's pretty relate-able (at least to myself and the GF), did not turn the movie viewing experience into a cry-fest; in fact, we left the movie house with a happy heart.

The movie is very well made, with good production values, especially the sound effects part (notice how good everything sounded when Piolo leaves and enters his car) which is a surprise, since sound always gets the least amount of attention in local movies.

A majority of the locations were shot here in Quezon City, and there were no grand locations (like Sagada or Batanes), which is welcome, as the main focus of the movie is still Sarah and Piolo's relationship within the movie.

There were still blatant product placements (BDO, SMDC, TV PLUS), but not as much as your last Kris Aquino or Vic Sotto movie.

All in all, I'm glad we went to see this movie -- it's an incremental improvement over past efforts (in general), especially with good production values, excellent performances by the actors and a relationship that's pretty believable and not too contrived.  It's well worth your time watching this if you like Filipino movies (if you're a fan of either lead actors, then it's a no brainer).

Verdict: 4/5 Must See!

Details:
Genre: Romance
Release Date: July 1, 2015
Notable Actors: Piolo Pascual, Sarah Geronimo
Seen At: SM San Mateo

Movie Review: Poltergeist (2015)

I went to see Poltergeist thinking it was a horror movie; I was sorely disappointed.  Even compared to the latest Insidious (the third part), which set a pretty low bar as far as American scare-fests go, Poltergeist was even less scary.  Sure, there were some jump-from-your-seat moments, often involving loud noises and hands over children's shoulders.  There were some semi-disturbing imageries but the inclusion of numerous CG effects really detracted from the visceral aspects of more practical-oriented (read as: cheap) effects (think the first Insidious, or the first Paranormal Activity).

However, if you think of Poltergeist as a suburban Sci-Fi / Light-horror genre mashup, it becomes a bit more palatable.

I never really like it when horror films over-explain themselves; sometimes the scariest things are things implied by the filmmakers, as opposed to something spoon-fed.  This is why Japanese or Asian horror in general works for me: they don't give a too-too elaborate backstory, scary shit just happens, deal with it!  I remember having to shower with my eyes open for months on end or not looking at my monitor's reflection (back in the days of CRT monitors) because I might see something that I did not want to see, or feel a hand helping me shampoo my hair.  I fed my own scares, and it left me scarred and scared years down the line.

Poltergeist spoon feeds you: everything has an explanation; everything happens for a reason; everything has a step-by-step guide towards solving the issue at hand.  This attitude is very American in my view, as opposed to the usual Asian attitude of "lets just get the fuck out of here".

I've never seen the original Poltergeist in its entirety; I seem to associate it with a scene where, after chewing a drumstick, this guy tasted something wrong with his midnight snack and ended up looking down towards his maggot encrusted piece of chicken.  This scared me enough to keep me away from breaded chicken drumsticks for a few years (hey, I was a kid then).  I remember the TV part and some kids and something something something happened and, well, let me just say that I'm not sure how much this 'reboot' stuck to the original in terms of story.  But I do believe that the original Poltergeist was also a a Sci-Fi / horror mashup, since they seem to stick with the idea that ghosts or entities have physically explainable (and even repeatable) manifestations.

Even with the sci-fi angle, I find it hard to recommend spending 250 pesos of your money and watching it in a moviehouse -- it's just not worth it.  As a rental though, it might be good enough, or maybe via iFlix, should they decide to carry it.

Verdict: 1/5 Don't bother.

Details:
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1029360/
Notable Actors: That guy from Moon
Release date: June 24, 2015
Seen at: Eastwood Cinemawalk

Movie Review: Your Place or Mine

Your Place or Mine watches like an anime series localised for our consumption.  To be specific, it's a reverse-harem, where the protagonist seems to be surrounded by good-looking guys all out to woo her affection.  I like harem animes, and I have been wondering what it would be like to have the genders reversed.  I got my wish and I'm not too sure how well i like it.

But first off, let me get this off my chest: What is the deal with Bret Jackson's colouration?  I know it's not a good idea to judge a person by the colour of their skin, but his tanning-bed skin tone is really, really distracting.  It doesn't help that his features are quite caucasian, and his eye and hair colour makes him look more brown than is rightly normal.  Everybody else looked pretty much okay so either the camera hates him or he really should stay away from the tanning salon.

Ehem.  With that out of the way, let us proceed!

This is a story of a rich girl (Haley Saavedra, played by Andi Eigenmann) who, like every other rich girl in Viva-verse, is determined to spend her youth drinking and screwing around while pretending to be studying in some video-genic university.  She meets and falls into bed (while thoroughly inubriated) with rich boy (Russell Sandoval, played by tanning-bed dude Bret Jackson) who seems to think the world is his oyster (and will throw a punch or two at the first sign of opposition, too much time spent watching pro-wrestling, my friend).

You get a controlling mother who seems determined to make her daughter unhappy (Jackie Lou Blanco) by setting her up in an arranged marriage, who, despite a few plot twists still seems to make decisions based on how much grief she'll cause her daughter.  Whose idea of motherhood is telling Haley that she cannot teach her how to cook because, asking her daughter rhetorically, "does she look like the type who knows how to cook".

Yaya to the rescue.

After an hour of watching these selfish and self-centered characters run around causing themselves unnecessary grief, I was left so devoid of sympathy that even the arrival of Teddy Bear Jr. Andre Paras as your typical anime childhood friend (with all the plus points that entails) still failed to elicit any sort of the expected sympathetic response from me.

So to cap this off, I'll just write down a few more of my observations:

• Haley likes walking out and/or running so she'll get chased.  She walks out on her boyfriend, she walks out of meetings (repeatedly), out of bed, etc.  She did this like five or six times
• So much product placement.  The movie went through as many food outlets, complete with external shots, as the number of times Haley walked on out people
• Almost every character here is a selfish prick.  Family members moreso.  With brothers like those, who needs a better set of villains
• What's the deal with that lecturing lawyer or doctor or shrink, extolling the virtues of a pragmatic marriage?
• Haley seem so determined to make herself unhappy!

Ultimately, even by anime standards, the plot is overly contrived, made worse by the fact that the characters elicit so little sympathy, you would've cheered them on in their misery.  I think I am not the target audience for the story or the movie, but I did not set out to spend 190 pesos just to hate the thing I'm watching. Try harder please, Viva.  And Russell, stop supporting the tanning lotion industry, you could actually act decently and might have a future in the industry and I'll probably have to watch a few more of your movies, just hopefully with a more normal skin tone.

Verdict: 1.5/5  Skip it.

TL;DR:
+ Production values seem to be decent, though outdoor locations seems to all be within Quezon City
+ Bret Jackson shows promise
- Contrived plot
- Poor pacing
- Some gaps within the story (how did Haley and Seth become chums all of a sudden)
---- The characters, ugh!

Details:
Title: Your Place or Mine
Genre: Reverse-harem Teen Drama, Wattpad
Release Date: April 29, 2015
Notable Actors: Andi Eigenmann, Andre Paras, Jackie Lou Blanco

Movie Review: You're My Boss

I literally found out about this movie last night, before then, I had no inkling that there was yet another entry to the (much abused) Boss Romance sub-Genre.  While I wouldn't call You're My Boss a terrible movie, this paint-by-the-numbers flick is just as generic and as unimaginative as its title.

So what is there to tell?  There's an over-compensatingly strong female boss (Toni Gonzaga) and an unsophisticated yet charming boy-next-door type (Coco Martin) who is full of heart.  Things happen and they end up swapping roles, falling for each other in the process.  The girl has emotional baggage aplenty and the guy... has his charming smile and... more charming smiles.  I really do think Coco Martin's idea of acting is just to smile his way through everything -- Happy? Smile! Pissed off? Evil smile!  In pain? Grimacing Smile!

I never really liked Toni Gonzaga, but I have to admit that she's come a long way from when I first saw her act.  While she's not the prettiest actress out there, she has presence and that certain sense of...star power!  Unlike her previous attempts, she doesn't come out as over-acting in any of her scenes; though her outfits and her heels (as noted by the girlfriend) and her bags (as noted by the both of us) can be quite..scene stealing.

Coco Martin... well... I've never been a fan and his performance here only reaffirms my belief that Mr. Martin seems to believe that he can smile his way through anything. Oh, he strips several times too, if that's your thing, then this might be your reason to spend your money on this movie.

As for chemistry.... dead as last night's burger.  I don't know, Toni and Coco are both charming left to themselves, but together... it really leaves much to be desired.  The movie bulldozes its way through several scenes, trying to establish the lead actor's reasons for being attracted to each other.  Taken on its own, they do have background and baggage enough to have a foundation for liking and loving one another but I just don't... feel the feels! 

Actually, after washing the dishes, I was thinking what is it about the movie that makes it a disappointment for me, it's not the individual effort displayed by the leads, and the production value is there, for most parts.  Technically, there are some flaws (particularly the dubbing on Freddie Webb's lines, I'm not sure if that's really his voice or whether they used someone else as a stand in, perhaps Mr. Voice-over).

Plot and story-wise, it was pretty okay, a stretch, but definitely within the realm of possibility (and office romance is an ever present occupational hazard for most-all of us).  The characters, from their respective starting points and towards the end of the movie, evolved because of their experiences, so no complaints there either.

Perhaps it's just the sheer predictability, the safer-course take-no-risk attitude that rendered a potentially new take in this tired sub-genre, that disappointed me.  It's like the studio though, hey, why not put an in-demand actor with an in-demand actress and see how it goes, either way, the fandom of both popular actors will probably recoup the cost to justify the effort.

So, in conclusion, and as proof that there's a connection between Toni Gonzaga and Dune (take that +Eugene Lozada ) let me paraphrase a quotation found in that body of work: a clear and safe choice ever leads towards stagnation

Verdict: 2.5/5 Watch it if the cinemas showing Furious 7 is full.

TL;DR:
+ Toni Gonzaga performed admirably well here
+/- Coco Martin's 'acting' vs his natural charm
-- Unimaginative plot, even less inspired execution
+ A few funny situations, emphasis on 'a few'

- Not much by way of risk or innovation
+ Batanes is quite charming, though not as photogenic as Pinatubo in Crazy Beautiful You

Details:
Genre: Boss Romance, "Comedy"
Release Date: April 4, 2015
Running Time: Longer than it felt
Notable Stars: Coco Martin, Toni Gonzaga
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4489160/

Movie Review: Run All Night

Run All Night is a very manly movie.  It oozes maleness that, if you were a girl, you'd probably be sporting stubbles by the time you're through.  It reminds me of old Hong Kong movies, with maleness and machismo being wielded as deadly weapon.

Despite that, it's not particularly testosterone-laden.  Yes, you can be manly without the chest-beating, or the one-liners designed to taunt your opponent into doing something stupid.  This distinguishes Run All Night from, say, Taken, or your typical Steven Seagal movie -- this movie, in its very core, is  about what it's like to be a father, or how not to be one.

Run All Night is star-studded; nevermind the fact that I only really know Liam Neeson and Ed Harris -- Ed Harris is star power enough (for me) to fill a five part movie about cooking sushi properly with your left hand tied behind your back with a silk necktie.  Add action-grandpa Liam Neeson and you'd get the next ultimate versus movie this side of Stallone and Swarzenegger (or Stiller and De Niro).

What I love the most about this movie (aside from its proper notions of manliness and fatherhood), is the fact that Liam Neeson doesn't do his usual Taken act -- the unstoppable force of nature that kicks down every door and shoots up every villain in his sight, though he does shoot and kill a lot of people here (enough to add to that old Liam Neeson infographic), it was never done in a casual, zip up your fly manner.  You can feel each kill costing him.

I'm glad we ended up watching this movie, I was ready to give it the skip, especially since it hasn't been a year since I've seen the last Taken.  This movie is as gritty as your typical Ed Harris movie without being overly depressing, although, I have to admit, I felt my eyes itch from some strange atmospheric effect causing tears to flow down (a bit), but there's a death scene at the end that was just oozing manliness that I couldn't help myself.  It's just like how manly Japanese guys would cry in anime, when their comrades would do something paricularly brave (like pedaling to exhaustion and not finishing the race so his team mates could push ahead and win).  That sort of manliness.

Verdict: 4/5 Well worth watching!

TL;DR:
+ Liam Neeson, toning down his action-grandpa act
+ Ed Harris
+ Straighforward movie, none of your twists and turns
+ Serious without being overly dramatic, or stressful


Details:
Movie Release Date: 3/18/2015
Seen at: Fisher Mall Cinemas
Notable Stars: Liam Neeson, Ed Harris
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2199571/

Movie Review: Crazy Beautiful You

Crazy Beautiful You is a teeny-bopper movie.   This statement is not to inflame, nor to denigrate the film, it is a romantic story between two young people who aim to start a relationship despite their respective situations.  It is a feel good movie, beautifully shot, with beautiful people, a bleak yet photogenic set of locations, and with a simple yet inoffensive script about love and family that's sure to entertain.

Taken in that context, there's little to criticise about this movie.  While I'm not a hardcore fan, I've enjoyed the Daniel Padilla and Kathryn Bernado 'love-team' back from their TV tele-serye days.  Daniel usually plays the bad-boy and Kathryn the goody-two-shoe;  their roles are reversed this time around, and it works!

Daniel seems more comfortable playing a happy person, which Kathryn can play a boy and she'll still be good at it.  The chemistry is there, and the director milks it for all its worth, with long, drawn out shots of the two doing their thing.  GF said there were kilig moments a-plenty.  I admit nothing.

While the movie is plenty good, there are some niggles I'd like to point out (none of which can be considered deal-breakers but I am splitting hairs here).  You get your requisite product placement shots (ABS CBN Mobile, a long-ass sequence involving KFC, and maybe a Condora ad-let).  You get about four disruptive transitions (music stopping abruptly, scene changing just as suddenly) and Inigo Pascual's character.

Inigo plays the perfect second fiddle here, and (requisite cover-your-ass disclaimer) while there is no accounting for taste, he simply does not match up to Daniel's character or looks or situation -- he's a straw man built just to be toppled down, probably one of the story's weakest points (aside from an exposition between Kathryn and her mother, full of feels but not enough storytelling).

In the end, you watch this movie because of Daniel and Kathryn -- you see them growing more mature with their role, and you can see glimpses of what they can become.  Daniel is the winner here, being charming without being shallow, sensitive without being too weepy.  Kathryn is, well, her usual excellent self, though she does this by supporting Daniel in subtle ways.

The support case is decent, but entirely forgettable. Lorna Tolentino (playing Kathryn's mom) had the biggest support role, though it's a shame to see an actress of her caliber play a bit part.  Gabby Concepcion plays your typical well-heeled politico (he plays Daniel's dad) with even less screen time (or consequence) than Ms. T.  Oh, Annaliza (Andrea Brilliantes) is here, marking her first step into maidenhood (but only with a tiny amount of screen time).  And, well, there's also Inigo but yeah :P

Who should watch this?  If you like Daniel+Kathryn, then it's a given.  If you enjoy feel-good local movies, yep, this one should be on your to watch list.  Or if you just like watching beautiful people and places, then you'd have that aplenty.

Verdict: Highly Recommended (4/5)

TL;DR:
++ Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla
+ Daniel Padilla levelling up his acting skills
+ Beautiful shots
+ Kilig Momments
- Inigo Pascual
+/- Supporting cast pretty much negligible
+/- Simple, Inoffensive story
- Requisite tear-jerking scenes

Details:
Movie Release Date: 2/25/2015
Seen at: Eastwood Citywalk 2 Cinemas
Notable Stars: Daniel Padilla, Kathryn Bernardo

Movie Review: Hector and the Search for Happiness

Hector and the Search for Happiness is up there in the Happiness movie genre, which typically crops up once or twice a year, catering to middle-aged folks (or those nearing it) who are, well, unhappy.  The nearest analogy to this movie that I can think of is Zoolander sequel, better known as The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, with less graphics and more heart and without Ben Stiller's dull-eyed excuse for a soulful stare'

I liked that movie, Zoolander 2, but the first Zoolander set my opinion of Stiller for life, that is to say, he tries so hard but seems to stuck in the same Sandlerese tendency to believe that his grasp is longer than his reach. Or something.

Hector, which stars Simon Pegg, has a problem -- he's middle aged and wonders where his life is going.  He's successful, has a girl, yet he's... you guessed it! Unhappy!.  Well, maybe not exactly unhappy, but he's unsure what happiness really is.  Which is a problem when you're there, as a psychiatrist, to decipher what it would take for his numerous patients to reach their own goal of personal happiness.

So he solves it the way all middle-aged people do: buy a sports car.  The end.

Well... not quite, he travels (leaving the sports car) and experiences life in all its variety, chronicling his experiences in a travel book and dealing with the changing aspects of his life and his relationship with his girlfriend.

It might not seem like it, but this movie touched me immensely, not as much as The Theory of Everything, but having seen both movies one after another had me master the art of crying beside your girlfriend without being too obvious about it.  With the lights on, too.

This movie has a heart, and not just because it involved an actual romantic (or non-romantic) relationship between Hector and his girlfriend, as compared to the lack of one in Zoolander 2, but Simon Pegg, which is known for his comedic acts, brought about a gamut of emotions in that highly mobile and expressive face of his.  You still get funny moments, but they're funny in the way life is funny, whether the situation is tragic, or joyful or anything else in between.  There is grace and indignity and life and love and all those silly words that is very, very human and not too ruined by the act of making this movie and making sure it hits the right notes and passes its test screenings.



Ehem.

But, really, watch this movie.  It's great fun.  Just maybe not with your girlfriend, or, at least, not with the lights on.  You can only tell her you were cutting onions so many times before she stops believing you.

Rating: Highly Recommended 5/5

TL;DR:
++ Simon Pegg
+ A feel-good movie that doesn't try too hard
+ They spelled 'happiness' right
+++ Rosamund Pike <3

Details:
Genre: Dramedy, Happiness
Release Date: Sometime in August, 2014 (At least in Germany)
Runtime: 114 min
Notable Stars: Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1626146/

Movie Review: That Thing Called Tadhana

Watching this movie is like spending two hours listening to your friends bitch and moan about their recent breakup -- yep, it's that appealing.  The bulk of the movie is spent with the two lead characters (and the only characters at that) talking and eating and travelling and talking and eating and travelling (rinse+repeat).

The movie has a very indie vibe, with low production values and limited crew.  Despite the rawness, it's well made -- I saw no overt flaws, technical or otherwise (excepting a few lines of dialogue with the background noise not scrubbed out, but I'm nitpicking).

So girl is heartbroken, guy is heartbroken, they meet and deal with it.  They spend the entire time just discussing how much time, effort and heart they sunk into the doomed relationship.  The flow of the movie is reminiscent of that old Ethan Hawke movie Before Sunrise, to the point where I'm thinking, given the relative buzz and success Tadhana (Fate/Destiny) 0seemed to have enjoyed, is Tadhana'd to have a sequel or two in the horizon.

I enjoyed the movie, but probably because I like Angelica Panganiban (a lot), and two hours worth of AP is fine by me.  The guy she's with (whose name eludes me), is pretty charming and reminds me of your typical doormat anime lead/protagonist (GF agrees, at least with the charming and 'cute' part).  There is chemistry (I think) and feels (not so much, for me that is :P) and maybe one or two kilig moments.  The movie would have been better received, by me, again, if I were heartbroken/feeling down/suicidal.

(yep, the entire movie looks like that cap above)

So, I heartily recommend it if:

• You or your friend is heartbroken
• You like Angelica Panganiban
• You're interested to see what a group of talented people in the local movie scene can come up with on a shoestring budget and a bunch of digital cameras

I'm just sort of disappointed there weren't that many memorable lines (unless you're full on 100% attention span on it, I suppose), since the movie is just two people talking... a lot.  No dramatic scenes, not much crying, it's full of commas and not enough exclamation points!!!

Verdict: 4/5 Watch it with caution :D It broke my heart. Sorta.

TL;DR:
+ Angelica Panganiban
- Angelica Panganiban (most people I've met either liked her or hated her, I guess she's just that kind of person)
+ copious amounts of lines with putang-ina in it
+ ... by Angelica herself
- Lack of memorable lines
- Much dialogues
-/+ movie broke my heart (and I cannot exactly say why)
+ Angelica Panganiban

Details:
Genre: Romance, Bitching and Moaning
Release Date: Feb 4, 2015
Running Time: Longer than it felt
Notable Stars: Angelica Panganiban
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4170436/

Movie Review: The Little Death

The little death is a movie about love, sex and relationships.  It is also one of the funniest, most awkward, tender, (slightly) romantic, and painful movies I've seen this year.  The movie is essentially about several couples and how they deal with sex and all its quirks -- perfect watching for this Valentine's day (or excuse to watch anyway).  I'm sure anyone who's been in a relationship (though mostly of the longer term sort, not much by way of one-night stands here), can relate with the characters.

The movie is not about sexy stuff or nudity (I don't think anyone got naked at all), so if you're expecting that, well, you know what the Internet is for.  What the movie deals with are several sorts of fetishes -- being aroused by seeing someone cry, or sleep for example, and how the characters go about getting off, whether telling their partners straight up, or in a more roundabout manner.

This is very much worth the watch -- wait for the part with the deaf guy and the phone sex line, though it's at the end of the movie, it had me and the GF laughing so hard we had to stop the movie for a bit just to recover.

Verdict: 4/5 recommended! Some people might find it offensive, though everything's tastefully done.

TL;DR:
+ Funny
+ Awkward
+ You can watch it with your mother
+/- You might or might not want to watch it with your GF/BF

Details:

Release Date: September 25, 2014 (Australia)

Genre: Comedy, Sex, Relationships

Running Time: 95 Mins based on IMDB

Notable Stars: I totally don't know any of them since they're Aussies.

Seen On: My 23" Monitor

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2785032/

Movie Review: Mortdecai

I never particularly liked watching Johnny Depp films, although they are quite fun to watch.  His brand of acting is just not something I appreciate much.  We went to watch Mortdecai by virtue of the process of elimination (the choice sort, not the biological function).  I wasn't particularly thrilled by how this movie was being marketed as well, as it was being compared to Austin Powers (basically the pinnacle of modern day comedic cinema, as far as I'm concerned).  In the end, I was glad we chose to see this film though.

Mortdecai is an art dealer.  Due to circumstances involving art and national security, he was drafted to take part in recovering a priceless painting.  While Johnny Depp is his usual Johnny Depp self (that is, a character actor playing a character actor extraordinaire playing his part in a character actor driven movie), and did his best English Aristo, I enjoyed the supporting cast so much more:

1. Gwynneth Paltrow, Mortdecai's wife, being pretty and smart
2. Ewan McGregor, because I'm a fan
3. Paul Bettany - because he just stole the show, and because I'm a fan

I'm not quite sure why this movie got such low reviews in Rotten Tomatoes: are my tastes that far from the norm? Is Johnny Depp too quirky for his own good?  Do modern day, mass market comedies require copious amounts of jokes relating to bodily functions and homosexuality?  Perhaps.  

The local distributor did not do this movie any favours by marketing it the way they did, either, but, I could not blame them as, well, I'm not quite sure who else would enjoy watching this (GF certainly did, it was her choice, go my duckling!).  As it is, if you do plan on watching this, I think you should do so within the week (locally), as I doubt it'd show beyond Tuesday. We actually could not book a ticket straight off as there weren't enough people watching it (needed at least 5 other people). And it was a Saturday night to boot.

So, in the end, go watch this movie if:

1. You like Johnny Depp
2. You like Spy-ish Parody
3. You like something lowbrow without resorting to fart jokes

Verdict: 4/5

TL;DR:

+ Johnny Depp

+ Supporting Cast

++ Paul Bettany

++ Funny without being dumb, or too dumb

Details:

Release Date: January 21, 2015

Genre: Comedy, Heist?, Johnny Depp

Running Time: 106 Mins based on IMDB

Notable Stars: Johnny Depp, Gwynneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany

Seen On: Fisher Mall, the Cinema with restrooms inside

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3045616/

Movie Review: Taken 3

TAKEN was fun, introducing to the world Liam Neeson as Action Grandpa.  TAKEN 2 was a good sequel -- it had the elements of the first TAKEN, while amping the action up and sticking to the concept.  TAK3N (or TAKEN 3) is where Liam Neeson follows the path of Steven Seagal.

A good hero is only as good as his nemesis, in this particular Taken, the main antagonist is arguably the Fed (I'm not particularly sure if he's FBI) Franck Dotzler, played by Forest Whitaker, whose idea of solving crime consists of telling his subordinates that his opponent is too good for basic policework (like chasing obvious leads including looking through timestamps).

Anyway, who watches Taken for the plot or the story eh?  I bet you read FHM for the articles.

All in all, the movie is fun, but in the light of a lackluster opponent and plot holes the size of delivery vans, it got in the way of my enjoyment of this installment of the series.  Even the twists, such as they were, ended up meh.  The emotional impact of having a father do absolutely anything and everything to save his pretty daughter (something that the first and second Takens had, in spades) is dampened by the fact that Neeson seems to have everything on hand, and nothing, not Feds, nor gangsters or other not-so-villainous characters, could stop him.  

I know that this is what Taken is all about, but man, sometimes it's not really about the destination and all about the journey.  But this terrible lack of anything remotely threatening or challenging for Bryan Mills in this movie is fast sending him towards the path where Steven Seagal headed back in the day, that is, Mr. I-Am-Too-Good-and-Invunerable-so-why-do-my-opponents-even-bother.

Lesson Learned: Never wear your undies when taking on Bryan Mills, Kevlar might be a better choice

Verdict: 2/5 Who am I kidding? Everyone will still be watching this movie, including me.

+ Liam Neeson

+ Other familiar faces

- Liam Neeson

- Lacklustre action scenes -- they're pretty lazily done

- Forest Whitaker = Meh

Details:

Release Date: January 14, 2015

Genre: Action, Old People Action

Running Time: 109 Mins based on IMDB

Notable Stars: Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Dougray Scott (and his awful American Accent)

Seen On: Fisher Mall, the Cinema with restrooms inside

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2446042/

Movie Review: Tragic Theater

The only tragic part about this movie is the time and money you spend on it.  Skip it.

Ok, straight to the point: I haven't seen a movie this terrible since... the last terrible Viva produced movie I've seen (My Lady Boss? was it? I tried so hard to forget).  I'll skip all the blah blah parts and go to the TL;DR part:

-- There's supposedly a story somewhere but it got buried in the director's attempt at telling...something
-- The movie we saw, this was in the actual fing movie theather, had many multiple pauses, like hard 1-3 second pauses.  The ticket seller implied this was due to the supposed censorship applied to this movie, but shit, it was as if the digital copy of the file (which I assume Greenhills theater to be utilising) was fucked
-- Too many cheesy and uncessesary special effects
-- Whoever edited this film should be allowed to graduate school.  I think this 'movie' was a worthy high school project.  They should move on to bigger and better things.
-- This movie seems like an excuse for Viva entertainment to let their 'talents' off the leash, or at least claim credit for a 'movie' in their resumes.  I'm not sure WTF they were doing, but I'm sure it wasn't 'acting'
+/- The only creepy and halfway nice thing about this movie was the intro scene -- it was tragic (this was showing a flashback of the 'tragic' event that occured) and it reminded me of that creepy scene in The Ring (where people were writhing about, like worms).  It got me all hot and bothered but maaaan, the rest of the movie happened.
- Poor John Estrada.  He can act.  I'm not sure WTF Christopher De Leon was doing though.  It reminded me somewhat of Anthony Hopkins in the first Thor movie, where you could almost see in his face and eyes the bewilderment he was experiencing, something like WTF am I doing in this movie.

The only, ONLY way you can enjoy this movie is to watch it with a few like-minded friends and laugh at how bad it was (just like that episode in the Community).  Other than that, save your money and ESPECIALLY your time. Stay at home. Read a book. DO NOT SUPPORT BAD MOVIES.

Verdict 1/5 (I was somewhat entertained, but unintentionally so).

Movie Review: Mockingjay Part I

I really disliked what Peter Jackson did with the Hobbit: he turned a smallish novel into three unnecessarily long and dragging movies just because he could.  I've read the book and I was quite indifferent towards it (as opposed to being absolutely enamoured with The Silmarillion), even as it was directly connected to the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I haven't read the Hunger Games books, so I can only judge the movie by its merits and I'd have to say I liked it quite well: Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen (best name ever) is a joy to watch, and the late Philip Seymore Hoffman gave his usual excellent performance (his eyes seem to be always smiling, giving him that jokes-on-you look).  Julianne Moore is there as President Coin and Donald Sutherland plays his villainous best.

The movie is quite... depressing and tends to pull at your heart's strings. Katniss struggles against the role the rebellion places on her and spends the time looking generally bewildered, with interleaving moments where she's back as her usual Mockingjay self.  One thing I can say is that Lawrence certainly has turned out to be quite the young woman, as opposed to being just a teenaged girl as she was when she started with The Hunger Games.

Of course, as being the first part of two movies covering the last book in the Hunger Games series, the movie spends most of its time as setup for the concluding second part.  The pace is set quite well, and I never felt any sort of padding or fluff added on.  The ending isn't quite the painful cliffhanger they sometimes leave us with (which is good, since the second part is supposedly coming out on November 20, 2015 according to Wikipedia), but it's hardly all that satisfyingly conclusive.

Should you watch it? Yes, the movie is well made, the actors giving good performances and the story sufficiently heartbreaking and depressing (though not in a stressful way).  Fans will most likely watch it anyway, as for the rest of us, it's good cinema!

Verdict: 4/5 It's worth your 200-252 pesos.

TL;DR:
++ Jennifer Lawrence
+ Excellent supporting cast
++ Story and pace quite good, no obvious padding
+/- Slightly depressing
- One more year until part 2

Details:
Release Date: November 19, 2014
Genre: Young Adult, Sci-Fi, Dystopian
Running Time: 123 Minutes
Notable Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Woody Harrelson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Julianne Moore, Donald Sutherland
Seen On: Fisher Mall, 2D, Regular Cinema

Movie Review: Horns

Having nothing else to watch this week (that is, the movie week Wednesday to Tuesday), we went to see Horns, by virtue of its trailer.  According to the trailer, you have a guy with horns and he seems to make people around him do bad things.

Interesting enough I suppose.

The trailer wasn't too clear about the plot (or maybe I wasn't paying too close an attention), but I'm hoping for something funny, intentional or otherwise.

Well, it wasn't really funny, or a lot of fun.  It was a rather serious movie with biblical themes littered all over the place.  Having not read the book (by which it was based on), I'm not sure what the author was getting at, but the movie is basically a magical-murder-mystery-love-story.  The closest thing I can liken it to will probably be Twilight, with horns instead of fangs.  And a bit more fun, granted.

Most of the 'fun' can be attributed to Daniel Radcliffe, who is looking quite fine, with or without horns.  He's all grown up, 5 o'clock shadow and Elijah Wood eyes and all.  His acting is okay, though I was a bit disappointed -- he seems to be walking about mostly bewildered, sometimes angry, sometimes screaming.  I was hoping to see a bit more of his acting range, but the movie seems to only demand a certain subset of his acting skills.

I don't know most of the other actors involved, maybe except the main villain, who was sufficiently evil.  I was surprised at seeing Heather Graham, who seems to be reprising her role in Bowfinger.  The female lead/love interest seem to have spent the entire movie crying and dancing semi-naked.

There are twists aplenty, this is a murder mystery after all, but the story is a bit flat, despite its fantastic nature.  I'm not sure if the movie explained why the horns appeared -- they just did.  Then there were pitchforks, and snakes slithering all over the place.  Well, I suppose I'd rather they just had things happen, than spend a big chunk of screen time trying to explain things at the expense of good storytelling.

All in all, I can't really say I can recommend the movie, unless maybe you'd like to see how Mr. Radcliffe is coming along, as an actor or magical being or his abs or something.  If you like fantasy with your religious imagery, I guess this film might be of interest to you.

Well, maybe just watch it on tape (or Bluray), at home, on a Holloween (it isn't really scarey, except maybe for the makeup).  Or maybe just to please your girlfriend.

Verdict: 2.5/5  It's an okay movie at best.

TL;DR:
+ Daniel Radcliffe
- Daniel Radcliffe's limited acting, (hopefully) not his best
+ Nice prosthetic effects
- So so story

Details:
Opening Date: November 12, 2014
Genre: Fantasy, Murder Mystery
Imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1528071/