Movie Review: Mortdecai

I never particularly liked watching Johnny Depp films, although they are quite fun to watch.  His brand of acting is just not something I appreciate much.  We went to watch Mortdecai by virtue of the process of elimination (the choice sort, not the biological function).  I wasn't particularly thrilled by how this movie was being marketed as well, as it was being compared to Austin Powers (basically the pinnacle of modern day comedic cinema, as far as I'm concerned).  In the end, I was glad we chose to see this film though.

Mortdecai is an art dealer.  Due to circumstances involving art and national security, he was drafted to take part in recovering a priceless painting.  While Johnny Depp is his usual Johnny Depp self (that is, a character actor playing a character actor extraordinaire playing his part in a character actor driven movie), and did his best English Aristo, I enjoyed the supporting cast so much more:

1. Gwynneth Paltrow, Mortdecai's wife, being pretty and smart
2. Ewan McGregor, because I'm a fan
3. Paul Bettany - because he just stole the show, and because I'm a fan

I'm not quite sure why this movie got such low reviews in Rotten Tomatoes: are my tastes that far from the norm? Is Johnny Depp too quirky for his own good?  Do modern day, mass market comedies require copious amounts of jokes relating to bodily functions and homosexuality?  Perhaps.  

The local distributor did not do this movie any favours by marketing it the way they did, either, but, I could not blame them as, well, I'm not quite sure who else would enjoy watching this (GF certainly did, it was her choice, go my duckling!).  As it is, if you do plan on watching this, I think you should do so within the week (locally), as I doubt it'd show beyond Tuesday. We actually could not book a ticket straight off as there weren't enough people watching it (needed at least 5 other people). And it was a Saturday night to boot.

So, in the end, go watch this movie if:

1. You like Johnny Depp
2. You like Spy-ish Parody
3. You like something lowbrow without resorting to fart jokes

Verdict: 4/5

TL;DR:

+ Johnny Depp

+ Supporting Cast

++ Paul Bettany

++ Funny without being dumb, or too dumb

Details:

Release Date: January 21, 2015

Genre: Comedy, Heist?, Johnny Depp

Running Time: 106 Mins based on IMDB

Notable Stars: Johnny Depp, Gwynneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany

Seen On: Fisher Mall, the Cinema with restrooms inside

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3045616/

Movie Review: Taken 3

TAKEN was fun, introducing to the world Liam Neeson as Action Grandpa.  TAKEN 2 was a good sequel -- it had the elements of the first TAKEN, while amping the action up and sticking to the concept.  TAK3N (or TAKEN 3) is where Liam Neeson follows the path of Steven Seagal.

A good hero is only as good as his nemesis, in this particular Taken, the main antagonist is arguably the Fed (I'm not particularly sure if he's FBI) Franck Dotzler, played by Forest Whitaker, whose idea of solving crime consists of telling his subordinates that his opponent is too good for basic policework (like chasing obvious leads including looking through timestamps).

Anyway, who watches Taken for the plot or the story eh?  I bet you read FHM for the articles.

All in all, the movie is fun, but in the light of a lackluster opponent and plot holes the size of delivery vans, it got in the way of my enjoyment of this installment of the series.  Even the twists, such as they were, ended up meh.  The emotional impact of having a father do absolutely anything and everything to save his pretty daughter (something that the first and second Takens had, in spades) is dampened by the fact that Neeson seems to have everything on hand, and nothing, not Feds, nor gangsters or other not-so-villainous characters, could stop him.  

I know that this is what Taken is all about, but man, sometimes it's not really about the destination and all about the journey.  But this terrible lack of anything remotely threatening or challenging for Bryan Mills in this movie is fast sending him towards the path where Steven Seagal headed back in the day, that is, Mr. I-Am-Too-Good-and-Invunerable-so-why-do-my-opponents-even-bother.

Lesson Learned: Never wear your undies when taking on Bryan Mills, Kevlar might be a better choice

Verdict: 2/5 Who am I kidding? Everyone will still be watching this movie, including me.

+ Liam Neeson

+ Other familiar faces

- Liam Neeson

- Lacklustre action scenes -- they're pretty lazily done

- Forest Whitaker = Meh

Details:

Release Date: January 14, 2015

Genre: Action, Old People Action

Running Time: 109 Mins based on IMDB

Notable Stars: Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Dougray Scott (and his awful American Accent)

Seen On: Fisher Mall, the Cinema with restrooms inside

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2446042/

Book Review: The Girl with All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

I knew absolutely nothing about this book when I first listened to it; I got it by way of IO9.com's 2014 most recommended books, and they have not failed me.  I listened to it via audiobook, and the performance by Finty Williams made this book absolutely perfect.  I haven't had a book this riveting, this... heart-breaking, with its dreary landscapes and memorable characters.  2014 was a great year for books, with this along with the First Fifteen Lives of Harry August leading the charge.

This book is about a Zombie (they're called "hungries" here) apocalypse, which revealed itself bit by bit in all its horrific detail.  We start out Melanie, one of the survivors found in the ruins of the 'old world'.  We see being acclimitised for future integration into what is left of civilisation.  However, we read along, we soon realise not everything is as it seems.  Most of what makes The Girl with All the Gifts such a page turner is in how it reveals Melanie's world bit, by shattered bit, and we soon find out that not everything is as it seems with Melanie herself.

I can't say much more without spoiling the fun, so I'll leave you to it.  This book is the best "Zombie" book I've read so far (Justin Cronin's The Passage series comes very, very close, I can't wait for the last book in his trilogy).  I highly recommend this one, especially if you love the genre, or if you just like a good tale.  I warn you though, this is very bleak -- it's Margaret Atwoot MaddAddam bleak.  I highly recommend the audiobook version if you can get your hands on it.

Verdict: Very Highly Recommended (5/5)

TL;DR:

++ Very believable world

++ Absolutely riveting, a page turner

++ Well-made characters, you'd be thinking about them long after you've put the book down

++ Oh the ending...

Details:

Author: M.R. Carey
Genre: Zombies, Post Apocalyptic
Book Length: 416 Pages (Hardcover Version)
Published: June 10, 2014
Amazon Link:  http://www.amazon.com/The-Girl-With-All-Gifts/dp/0316278157/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0

Movie Review: Tragic Theater

The only tragic part about this movie is the time and money you spend on it.  Skip it.

Ok, straight to the point: I haven't seen a movie this terrible since... the last terrible Viva produced movie I've seen (My Lady Boss? was it? I tried so hard to forget).  I'll skip all the blah blah parts and go to the TL;DR part:

-- There's supposedly a story somewhere but it got buried in the director's attempt at telling...something
-- The movie we saw, this was in the actual fing movie theather, had many multiple pauses, like hard 1-3 second pauses.  The ticket seller implied this was due to the supposed censorship applied to this movie, but shit, it was as if the digital copy of the file (which I assume Greenhills theater to be utilising) was fucked
-- Too many cheesy and uncessesary special effects
-- Whoever edited this film should be allowed to graduate school.  I think this 'movie' was a worthy high school project.  They should move on to bigger and better things.
-- This movie seems like an excuse for Viva entertainment to let their 'talents' off the leash, or at least claim credit for a 'movie' in their resumes.  I'm not sure WTF they were doing, but I'm sure it wasn't 'acting'
+/- The only creepy and halfway nice thing about this movie was the intro scene -- it was tragic (this was showing a flashback of the 'tragic' event that occured) and it reminded me of that creepy scene in The Ring (where people were writhing about, like worms).  It got me all hot and bothered but maaaan, the rest of the movie happened.
- Poor John Estrada.  He can act.  I'm not sure WTF Christopher De Leon was doing though.  It reminded me somewhat of Anthony Hopkins in the first Thor movie, where you could almost see in his face and eyes the bewilderment he was experiencing, something like WTF am I doing in this movie.

The only, ONLY way you can enjoy this movie is to watch it with a few like-minded friends and laugh at how bad it was (just like that episode in the Community).  Other than that, save your money and ESPECIALLY your time. Stay at home. Read a book. DO NOT SUPPORT BAD MOVIES.

Verdict 1/5 (I was somewhat entertained, but unintentionally so).

Book Review: The Cold Commands, The Dark Defiles (A Land Fit for Heroes Books 2/3)

Okay, so I read through the second book and third of Richard K. Morgan's A Land Fit for Heroes series (of which I reviewed the first book, The Steel Remains, in a previous post).  I'd have to say, iiiiiit's AMAZING!

Not so much the second book -- it had the unfortunate burden of setting things up for the third and, supposedly, last book.  I couldn't be bothered to come up with a review for The Cold Commands (Book 2), because, well, Skyrim happened :P, but I did go straight to the third book, The Dark Defiles.  It's been over a week and I still find myself wishing there's more to the series, though I think we should just leave it at that (since we usually regret getting what we ask for).

So, in a sentence, the Dark Defiles is everything that makes Richard K. Morgan great in his earlier works, particularly Altered Carbon.  You can almost think of Ringil Eskiath, the main protagonist in this particular series, as a dark fantasy 'faggot' (in his own words) analogue for the sci-fi body swapper Takeshi Kovacs.  The rage is there, the sociopathic, watching-the-world-burn-because-I-could attitude, and the well-hidden heart and sentimentality at its core.

The whole novel is a roller coaster ride, with victories, defeats, deaths, near-deaths and everything else in between.  Up until the end I wasn't sure how things would go, and even after putting the book down, you're pretty sure things are still going on in that world of theirs.  Not the best world building out there, but it's solid and everything makes sense, more or less, in the end.

The ending was satisfying and pretty fitting -- it wasn't some tacked-on, happily ever after piece of fiction made to please readers.  It was what the character wanted, and deserved. It was awesome :D

In the end, I'm glad Richard K. Morgan remembered how to write as Richard K. Morgan.  For a while there (a long while, it was book 1 and most of book 2) I felt that the author was trying to be clever for its own sake.  But the deconstructionist nature of his work works, and while you can feel that the author is trying too hard not to fall into the usual high/low/dark/light fantasy tropes most of us find ourselves reading, reading the work in its entirety justified his approach, made me feel (at least) that he wasn't being too self-indulgent and ultimately comes up with a work worthy of his skill and vision. Blah blah blah.

Listened to all three books in audiobook format.  Simon Vance is my favourite narrator :D (Just not for Aubrey Maturin)

So verdict: 4.5/5 for The Dark Defiles, 4/4 for The Cold Commands and 4/5 for the Land Fit for Heroes series.

TL;DR:
++ Great ending, made all the doubt and annoyances of the earlier books worthwhile
++ Explanations and rationale galore, a lot of the mysteries and histories were made clear, without being too big an infodump
++ Author seemed to have loosened up and had a bit more fun with the last book than with the first two.
-- SPOILER of a sort : Someone died :(

Details:
Author: Richard K. Morgan
Genre: Fantasy, Noir
Book Length: The Cold Commands 512 Pages, The Dark Defiles 560 Pages (Hardcover Version)
Published: The Cold Commands October 11, 2011, The Dark Defiles November 20, 2014
Amazon Link:  The Cold Commands, The Dark Defiles

Book Review: Lock In by John Scalzi

I never liked Scalzi all that much -- he's a bit too... self-aware for my tastes.  I approached his latest work Lock In with a bit of trepidation, but I'm happy to say I took the chance and the book was quite fulfilling (that or I'm a sucker for near future sci-fi whatever the source).

Lock In is a near-future sci-fi novel where the entire world was hit with a highly contagious flu-like disease.  The disease causes a small number of victims to experience Lock In, that is, functioning mentally but unable to control their bodies.  Through science! and a whole lot of money, victims are able to regain a semblance of functionality, either through human surrogates (Integrators) or robotic (Threeps, taken from C3PO).  Hadens, as sufferers of the disease are collectively called, operate their surrogates remotely, through a wireless network.

The novel is a detective/murder mystery where the protagonist, Chris Shane (a Haden), joins the FBI to solve deaths involving Hadens, Integrators and Threeps (well, physical damage to the latter anyway).

Scalzi spins a well-tangled yarn, with a very believable world of high technology, complete with a well thought out social and economic framework.  Since I am a bit sour at finding myself thoroughly engaged and enjoying the novel (finished listening in a couple of days), my only major complaint is that everything got tied up too neatly in the end.

The audiobook version, narrated by Amber Benson, was a joy to listen to.  Benson's main protagonist voice (that of Shane) was pretty well done, but some of her other voices, particularly of male characters, were a bit off, but not too distracting.  All in all, the audiobook was a good and easy listen, particularly suitable during driving, working out, or even working (for some of the more mindless tasks you find yourself doing, at least).

I haven't enjoyed a Scalzi book this much since Old Man's War.  If you like your books reading like TV shows, then this one is for you.  I might actually go back to reading up on his other works (Redshirts).

Verdict: Very highly recommended (4/5)

TL;DR:

++ Well written. The audiobook version is also well read

++ Very believable near-future world, excellent world-building

+ Protagonist was charming and capable, and worked well within her limitations

+ Supporting cast is also likeable

+ Plot, while somewhat predictable, was well paced and nicely excecuted

-/+ Everything was tied up neatly in the end, though there's room for more books in a potential series (I'd be happy to read more, maybe 1 or 2 more, max).

Details:

Author: John Scalzi

Genre: Sci-Fi, Near Future, Police Procedural

Book Length: 336 Pages (Hardcover Version), 10 Hours Audible Audiobook

Published: August 26, 2014

Amazon Link:  http://www.amazon.com/Lock-In-John-Scalzi-ebook/dp/B00IHCBE1C/ref=tmm_kin_title_0